I know it caused you a major headache Sang but I honestly think you're onto something cool with the digital boarding here! Looking at the excerpt (and I do hope that this sees the light of day in your portfolio) I notice that here are a few panels I would change and eliminate altogether. So here goes:
1. Panel 2 has the action going on in front of the silhouette of Phil. It's crucial that we take a little creative license with the action of the Berry Watch going off in the pocket. Work it the side of the character and give him a little more dynamic pose in the reaction - It's got to read in silhouette or not at all!
2. Panel 5 could be real fun! How about starting the shot with the perfectly round pocket watch in Phil's hand open at the alarm and then at the point where he closes it and moves it away, the exact same space is occupied by Puppy's perfectly round eye and his lovely big brainless grin. Cut to Phil's surprise at this and because he's happy at the time of year an interaction with Puppy.
3. Panels 9, 12 and 13 don't seem to have a clear purpose - Why are they there? The turning off of the hose can be conveyed in a single panel. The action doesn't dictate another movement or indeed panel. Puppy shots are somewhat uninteresting and should be substituted with with his change in reaction at the hose from interest to readying a pounce.
4. As Phil begins polish to hose, don't be afraid to be a little more cryptic. You might be able to use a backside view of the character polishing away with Puppy looking on in a quizzical way. The reveal of the polished garden hose will be all the more powerful!
Would love to just draw these out and post but I'm at work without a scanner... Can get onto it if you need more guidance but would love to see how you do it!
2 comments:
Looks good, Sang. I really like the shading. Easy tio do in digital, huh? And the berry watch is great.
I know it caused you a major headache Sang but I honestly think you're onto something cool with the digital boarding here! Looking at the excerpt (and I do hope that this sees the light of day in your portfolio) I notice that here are a few panels I would change and eliminate altogether. So here goes:
1. Panel 2 has the action going on in front of the silhouette of Phil. It's crucial that we take a little creative license with the action of the Berry Watch going off in the pocket. Work it the side of the character and give him a little more dynamic pose in the reaction - It's got to read in silhouette or not at all!
2. Panel 5 could be real fun! How about starting the shot with the perfectly round pocket watch in Phil's hand open at the alarm and then at the point where he closes it and moves it away, the exact same space is occupied by Puppy's perfectly round eye and his lovely big brainless grin. Cut to Phil's surprise at this and because he's happy at the time of year an interaction with Puppy.
3. Panels 9, 12 and 13 don't seem to have a clear purpose - Why are they there? The turning off of the hose can be conveyed in a single panel. The action doesn't dictate another movement or indeed panel. Puppy shots are somewhat uninteresting and should be substituted with with his change in reaction at the hose from interest to readying a pounce.
4. As Phil begins polish to hose, don't be afraid to be a little more cryptic. You might be able to use a backside view of the character polishing away with Puppy looking on in a quizzical way. The reveal of the polished garden hose will be all the more powerful!
Would love to just draw these out and post but I'm at work without a scanner... Can get onto it if you need more guidance but would love to see how you do it!
Phew!
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